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Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child, by Margaret Paul
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Inner bonding is the process of connecting our adult thoughts with our instinctual, gut feelings—the feelings of the "inner child"—so that we can minimize painful conflict within ourselves. Free of inner conflict, we feel peaceful, open to joy, and open to giving and receiving love.
Margaret Paul, coauthor of Healing Your Aloneness, explores how abandonment of the inner child leads to increasingly negative and destructive feelings of low self-worth, codepenclence, addiction, shame, powerlessness, and withdrawal from relationships. Her breakthrough inner bonding process teaches us to heal past wounds through reparenting and clearly demonstrates how we can learn to parent in the present. Real-life examples illustrate the dynamics of the healing process and show the benefits we can expect in every facet of our lives and in all our relationships.
Inner Bonding provides the tools we need to forge and maintain the inner unity that makes our family, sexual, work, and social relationships productive, honest, and joyful.
Product details
Paperback: 242 pages
Publisher: HarperOne; 1 edition (June 5, 1992)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0062507109
ISBN-13: 978-0062507105
Product Dimensions:
5.6 x 0.6 x 9.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
67 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#51,890 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
...we would have the means to create real and lasting peace. Because we experience the world as we are, the way we relate to the world will be a direct reflection of the way we relate to ourselves. This book offers a framework within which we can relate to ourselves and others in an authentic, healthy, and empowered way. I acquired it at the advice of my Conscious Uncoupling coach as I faced the dark abyss of divorce from my husband of eight years. Every possible feeling of abandonement and worthlessness surfaced, and in spite of the urge to protect myself by getting angry and blaming everything on him, I dove deep inside of myself and discovered the ways in which I had implicitly agreed to be treated in the ways he was treating me...because they were mirroring the ways I was treating myself! After making that mind-blowing discovery, I committed to connecting with and prioritizing the happiness of my inner child, who was feeling worthless and abandoned by me. Once I began putting her needs first, listening to her input and taking loving action on her behalf, I started noticing some pretty significant positive shifts in the ways I was relating to the people in my life. I'd like to say that everything worked out with my husband, but that's not the case. We're still getting a divorce, but I see this as a chance to move on from my old paradigm and into a healthy new one, where I can give and receive the love I deserve. Now just imagine if all of the world leaders did this kind of work, instead of allowing their inner toddlers to run the show. It's up to us to step up and be leaders in our homes, peer groups and communities by taking on the responsibility to be there for ourselves and make sure that our needs are getting met--not at the expense of, but in concert with, those around us. If just a few of us step up, it can make a huge difference in the world. Get the book, do the work, and experience real and lasting peace, happiness and freedom in your life! I believe in you!
Incredibly deep book, this coupled with DBT therapy, has changed my life, (I have Borderline Personality Disorder) I never quite understood the talking to the stuffed animal thing, but damn does it work. I still ignore my inner child from time to time, but I have certainly learned a lot more about myself than ever before because of this book. I know with time, I will be able to apply the principals in this book more effectively, and ultimately, it'll lead to life-changing things.
This is a sequel to Healing Your Aloneness. It really could have been added onto the first book and re-published that way. It is very helpful to learn about the inner child dialogue process between the adult and child inside your head. There are many more helpful diagrams in this book than there was in the first book. This book is not just a review of the first book, it is much more than that. It in many ways explains the concept more clearly, with stronger (if lesser) examples. This book is written loudly and clearly, whereas the first book had some ideas that weren't explained as well as they are in this one. This book is for those who want to do serious work on themselves, for those in recovery from addictions, from codependency, from addictive relationships, overeating etc. But it is also for anyone who, as the previous book's title states, is lonely and doesnt know why. Inner Bonding is the solution to loneliness because it teaches me to be there for myself. This book is also spiritual, in that it reaches down to a deep level and transforms my life, daily. It teaches an inner habit. Truly an amazing habit and practice.I should warn you that God is mentioned in this book as part of this process that is needed. If you read the first book, a 'higher power' is mentioned in that book. It is helpful to believe in some sort of higher intelligence to do this process, and one does not have to actually believe in God for it.
One of the best psychology books I've ever read. If you start practicing, the work is incredibly profound, triggering the deepest therapeutic work I've ever done even after years of therapy. Highly recommend, but it requires difficult work but strikes to the core. I cannot recommend more highly.
This is a great book. Everyone should know about the inner child, those wounded parts of us that had to cope in childhood with difficult conditions and through which we developed mechanisms that still affect us today.This book shows us how to be in touch with that part, take care of it and free ourselves of the traps we fall into. A new twist on transference and how to deal with it, that is, how the present becomes the past and how much we are unaware of it.Highly recommend.
Inner Bonding was introduced to me at a time in my life when I was ready to heal the child within me. This book explained the process of "inner bonding" so beautifully and gave many examples to help me understand the process completely. I recommend it as often as possible to friends and family who have the need to heal from past pain. It was a life changing book for me.
Very good book. Sound approach to getting at ones personal issues. I had never heard of the author and approached it with enormous skepticism. I was very surprised to find such solid information. The Inner Bonding approach may seem strange to some but I guarantee it will reach some very sensitive spots that will bring some wanted and unwanted revelations.
As someone who has been on a self discovery path for years with mixed results, I continued to struggle with the self hated and shame that I could not access or understand even when I know better. Discovering this book and process has given me tools to access and work with these deeply ingrained beliefs that have caused all manner of problems in my life. I have far to go still, but I am finally able to get to the root of my issues and am learning to love myself and be a loving adult to my inner child.
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